I micro-dosed ayahuasca for 60 days
after living in a shamanic Brazilian community
This is one of my most requested articles. And my experiment is finally ready to be released. This is both a personal documentation and factual information about micro-dosing.
If you are new to this platform, let me start with some context. This past summer, I was doing research for a potential proposal grant on entheogenic medicine for National Geographic for two months in Brazil. While there, I dove deep into ceremony with ayahuasca. However, I wanted to engage further with the medicine when I left Brazil and continue utilizing her feminine energy to heal.
So, I documented 60 days of micro-dosing with ayahuasca, to help share my experience with others who are curious about not only the plant medicine and spirit herself, but for those who want to dive into micro-dosing.
*note. Each person will have a different reaction to the medicine and I am not here to diagnose or tell you what something will feel like.
But first, a quick breakdown of terms and a dive into the current psychedelic climate.
So, what is ayahuasca? Ayahuasca is a sacred Amazonian indigenous brew made from boiling the Banisteriopsis caapi vine and the leaves of the Psychotria viridis shrub. When consumed, these psychoactive plants release DMT, with clinical studies showing that it can help combat depression, anxiety, PTSD, addiction and other mental issues. This spiritual medicine can be life changing, as it works with the subconscious mind to navigate our fears and desires, healing trauma and energetic blocks. It can help people find their higher purpose and purge whatever does not serve you.
And for those new to the term micro-dosing, this refers to the practice of taking 1/10th to 1/20th of a full dose of psychedelic or entheogenic medicine. James Fadiman first coined this term in his book The Psychedelic Explorer’s Guide. It typically refers to micro-dosing psilocybin mushroom varieties. Taking smaller doses everyday, rather than one large trip, can be especially beneficial in the long term, helping to rewrite neural pathways. Thousands have reported the practice of micro-dosing to help with focus, insomnia, balanced mood, depression, and anxiety. In the Journal of Psychoactive Drugs, there are even studies to show its incredible promise in helping alleviate physical conditions and symptoms such as migraines, PMS, brain injury, shingles and more.
So, now we can agree, the psychedelic renaissance is here. Psychedelic medicines are booming as mental health issues are skyrocketing. By 2027, it is projected that the psychedelic drug market is to reach $10.75 billion. And for good reason. These are not only solutions for mental health, but potentially for the climate crisis as well. No longer attached with a stigma, it seems like everyone is talking about psychedelics as the next quantum leap of human consciousness.
The truth is the psychedelic movement is here to stay. They have become a globalized commodity. It's a hot button subject that even the New York Times is covering and we're just not going to go backwards from this point. So, what we can do is instead of getting angry and trying to remove these substances from modern society? Well, we can educate how to properly take these medicines and how to use them with cultural competency and ritualistic knowledge.
And at the forefront of the global conversation is two dialogues: micro-dosing mushrooms and ayahuasca.
Who hasn’t met a tech executive or yoga teacher who has engaged in an entheogenic ceremony - or frankly dabbled into micro-dosing mushrooms? Micro-dosing psilocybin and looking for ayahuasca retreats are getting some of the highest clicks on Google searches. However, most people don’t know you can micro-dose almost ANY entheogenic medicines for mental and spiritual health benefits, without a full psychedelic trip.
Protocol
Given to me by my ayahuascuero at Terra Mirim.
Month 1:
7 drops - 15 days
9 drops - 15 days
Month 2:
11 drops - 15 days
9 drops - 15 days
Month 3:Â
7 drops - until finished
July 13 - September 11
Day 1 - Woke up initially anxious because I felt overwhelmed that someone was relying on me. Went to water temple and prayed to grandmother water for this process. Lit candle and put 7 drops in water. Started my morning and my thoughts drifted away. Body felt warm and thoughts drifted away. Calmer without racing thoughts. It didn’t feel like I had to try hard to release anxiety. Released emotion in bathroom. Not thinking about food. I just am. Thoughts aren’t gone, but less intense.
Day 2 - The feeling of family. Manifestation in the field. I feel a lot of anxiety does not go into my body. Ayahausca is slowly helping. I feel like I can slow down easier. I can really absorb. Calmer relaxation. I still have ways to go. Great first step.
Day 3 - Had a great day at the beach today. Body issues are prevalent, but calmer even when I am not totally comfortable.
Day 4 - Filled with gratitude on night 4. I eat, but without as much uncomfortable bloating. But I am still having some guilt around food. Overall, my nervous system is stable though. When I think of thoughts, it doesn’t go to my stomach.
Day 5 - I was packing/flying. I had bloating and menstrual cycle began. BUT, no other symptoms. Mood was stable.Â
Day 6 - I felt that today was so much easier once I micro-dosed. I felt so much gratitude and lightness. Easy to fall asleep. Just felt I could flow even being exhausted.
Day 7 - Pure bliss. Feel content and slept sooooo easy. Bloating is there though. Going to try to celery juice tomorrow.Â
Day 8 - Was so emotional this morning even though it was so calm and peaceful. But, the crying and anxiety felt present and alive. Let out sooooooo much emotion, which is new for me. Fell asleep so easily.
Day 10 - Felt anxiety for the first time today, but it was manageable. It came when I drove by an apartment complex and it caused me anxiety to imagine living here. Thoughts rushed into my head again. Today, I felt emotional as hell. I just wanted to cry all day and I did a lot. I was so stressed about my body image. Yoga felt good, but I am worried aya is gonna stop working once I am back in this place. I need to connect to nature more somehow.
Day 11 - Fell asleep so quickly. Day at the beach. Easy to articulate how I feel. Aya told an energy healer that I needed to do I AM meditation. She is here and present and I am releasing amazing stored emotions from years passed.Â
Day 12 - Woke up and mood was down from everything, but let it all come out. Took a nap on the floor in pillows and felt calm.
Day 13 - My back isn’t hurting anymore! It has been in pain for weeks. Day went easier, but still had moments of wanting to cry. Mostly around my mom, so she must make me feel comfortable. Talked to my best friend over Facetime and felt more empowered. Fell asleep easily.
Day 14 - In shock over some news, so I couldn’t sleep and had to run to the bathroom a lot. But honestly, I think my mental state and physical state could have been worse without this micro-dose.
Day 15 - I had anxiety about the news I got yesterday, but it was muted because I could actually let out my emotions. But, when I went to sleep and I was out like a light.
Day 16 - Woke up and had to run to the bathroom, which is a great sign. Day was easier to get through and I am so grateful for this micro dose. Even with everything, I can handle it and it helps me process faster and more efficiently.
Day 17 - First day of 9 dose. I definitely had anxiety and exhaustion come up on the way to meet a friend, as I was rushing to drive far. But, it was manageable and did pass. But, I do feel very centered with myself and my needs. When I was asked out today, I just felt so sure in my own self that I just knew I didn’t want to. I feel in control of my choices and ready to move forward.
Day 18 - I had a moment of pure bliss today. Joy after watching a show at the excitement of my life and love to come. I feel like I am finally moving forward. Its slow, but it’s going to happen. My anxiety feels so much lessened. And I am aware of the anxiety without being in it. Also now doing 9 drops, so that was been even more bliss I think.Â
Day 19 - I feel calm today while starting a cleanse. I can find my gratitude so much easier. I know I am open and I feel like things will work out. Full moon definitely kept me up a bit more than usual.
Day 20 - I had such calm with walking in the neighborhood. I could observe and just appreciate. I feel like I really listen to my body being tired and fall asleep very easily. I had intensely vivid dreams.
Day 21 - Nothing to report. Just finding more joy in each day.
Day 22 - Feeling like I was more open to a Cyber Scan. Feeling overwhelmed by this new contract I am starting. Hoping I do a good job. I feel pressure after just a few days.
Day 23 - Nothing to report.
Day 24 - I fall asleep so easily with this microdose. My dreams are so vivid and intense. But, my body came to center today. I feel aya is highlighting how much I need to go inward to get better with it.
Day 25 - I definitely felt less social anxiety in LA right now. Read tarot and was so connected to spirit while reading. More open.
Day 26 - My body dysmorphia is high, but I feel like I can let out tears easier about it which is awesome. I feel like I can move through the emotion faster.
Day 27 - Intense dreams and woke up sweating.
Day 28 - Power was out, so I played guitar and napped. Clearly my body needed it. Another night of intense dreams.
Day 29 - I feel like I am more open to healing. Things can process faster, which is nice.
Day 30 - I just notice how intense my dreams are. Just sweating and so vivid.
Day 31 - The taste of the micro-dose is getting worse - bleh. Giggling as I write this.
Day 32 - Up to 15 drops! Really noticing pre-menstrual symptoms quite strong.
Day 33 - Crying and feeling it, but can really overcome and absorb the message easier.
Day 34 - I just want to let out all my emotions in constructive ways. Joy and happiness through dance? Anger through screaming into a pillow maybe? I never used to let out emotion, so I am excited that aya is giving me a path to actually explore this.
Day 35 - I really noticed how I have no anxiety whatsoever today. Like even when things come up, I just let out emotion and move through them. Everyday, even in this dark period, I have no anxiety. This micro-dose is something I just don’t know if I want to give up.
Day 36 - Nothing to report.
Day 37 - The new moon was yesterday and my hormones are a bit wonky from the stress of the past few months. Aya is telling me not to worry and it will all settle soon.
Day 38 - Again my dreams were so potent. But, I fall asleep very easily. I am very in tune with my sleep wake cycle.
Day 39 - Woke up with menstruation and a sense of relief. Almost like the medicine and I breathed together on that one.
Day 40 - I woke up basically sweating from a dream again. It’s been really hard to have such vivid dreams. Maybe they are trying to make me listen? Or I am just processing a lot of trauma at once. I am glad though!
Day 41 - My dreams are just so vivid and intense! I am not sure if I like it anymore. It’s like I am lucid dreaming all the time. My mind is also on its cycle, so I don’t think its good for everything to be this intense. Maybe I need to settle down and tune into aya today.
Day 42 - I woke up in pure lucid dream about a personal issue I just went through, highlighting my insecurities and fears. I’m not sure if I’m enjoying the micro-dose right now. I know it is a phase to get through, as aya will also bring things to the surface I need to deal with.
Day 43 - Again woke up jolted up. Woke up with body image feelings, but trying to focus on 3 positive affirmations.
Day 44 - Needed a break from micro-dose to re-calibarate.
Day 45 - Break.
Day 46 - Reiki was so relaxing. Then, a great emotional release. I love aya helps get those out of the body. I mean for someone who repressed her sadness and anger for so many years, I think this is really good.
Day 47 - Feeling really calm and centered.
Day 48 - I noticed I got overwhelmed last night, but just reminded myself its temporary and watched it from outside.
Day 49 - Today, I needed to do a slow breathing pattern to regulate myself.
Day 50 - I am feeling that maybe I am starting to not need aya anymore. I heard she lets you know when you are done. I feel like I am starting to find the tools on my own now to handle the rest of my healing moving forward.
Day 51 - Having trouble regulating my anxiety today. I felt it in my chest as I had some work stress.
Day 52 - Really trying to notice the anxiety in my body and find ways to manage it without micro-dosing. Five senses exercise and pranayama breathing are best for now.
Day 53 - Felt anger from a situation, but let it go through me. The message is: it will all be okay.
Day 54 - Shot up sweating in the morning with a clear message its time to wean off now.
Day 55 - Good day of gentleness.
Day 56 - No microdose, but aware of my stress response.
Day 57 - A lot of situations around me are finally calming down. I am about to leave for New York and I feel like things are going to shift. I can leave toxic situations behind. I am feeling more in tune with myself and have a good feeling moving forwards.
Day 58 - Some days are harder than others, but I have learned that it’s not about counting the days of happiness, it’s how you deal with the hard days that define you. How you get up and make the best of it. Sometimes we go through hard periods of life that knock you down, like these recent months of saturn return, but there light is at the end of the tunnel. We all need these periods of time, because they help us grow to who we truly are. Finding authentic center again.
Day 59 - No microdose.
Day 60 - Thanked ayahuasca for her help and placed her in a safe space. I saged the room and felt a lightness come over me, like I was out of that phase of life, ready to move forward.
Reflection
Micro-dosing helped me to regulate my anxiety I was having by becoming more aware. It was just really looking into myself. Along with other treatment, I was able to observe and identify my triggers and blocks through being present with the medicine. I personally did not need it to reprogram neural pathways as some people do with micro-dosing, as I have healthy signals, but it was a great tool while I was struggling during that period of my life. Now, I can look back and be so grateful for the time I was able to find something to help me ground and move through it all. As of October 2023, I no longer suffer with ANY anxiety, almost non-existent food or body issues and my blockages are gone. I am flowing in harmony with life. I have let go of suffering and feel like myself again, happy, confident, and strong.
Glad to see you are in such a good place and the journey through micro dosing gave you clarity and peace.